Abydos71

2009-09-25T12:56:00.000+10:00

Who are we to be the judge, jury and executioner? Think about how you treat others because one day you could be in their shoes.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Copy this to your journal if you believe in legalizing gay marriage!

2009-07-03T16:14:00.003+10:00

Single or Taken: Single (damn it)
Sex: Female

Birthday: 27 June

Sign: Cancer
Siblings: 2 older brothers. Scott & Darren
Eye colour: Hazel
Shoe size: Kids 13 or Adults 1
Height: 3ft 7
Country born: Australia
Innie or Outie: Innie
What are you wearing right now: Jeans, holden t-shirt, flannie (lol) and jumper
Where do you live: NSW/VIC border
Righty or lefty: Righty
Any pets: Dog Monty, Cat Lily.
Where do you work?: I dont. Searching tho.
When did you start using Facebook?: Ummmm.....Early 2008 I think.
How much time a day do you spend on Facebook?: Hours!!!!!
Do you own a cell phone?: Yep
Do you like to text?: Yep
Play an instrument?: I wish!
Have any tattoos?: 4. And wanting more.

What did you have for breakfast: I dont have breakfast.
What makes you smile: Family & friends. and My cute baby furkids
Why do you smile: Because I love them.
What is the weather like out side: Sunny, but windy and bloody cold.
What or who makes life worth living: Family, Friends, Pets.
What do you like better, colored pencils, crayons, or markers: Coloured pencils
What have you been labeled: A bitch (haha - thanks fubbs).
Do you think you are a nice person: Yeah I do.
What is the worst pain you've ever felt: When my hips were playing up. Before the surgery.
What did you have for lunch: A special K chocolaty bar & can of Pepsi
What do you have in your cup/bottle: Pepsi
What grade are you in: Im not.
What do you want to be: I have no idea. Sad at my age hey.
What is your worst habit: Laziness
What time is it: 4.21pm
What size bed do you have: Queen sized waterbed.
What is bothering you right now: Something I dont want to write here.
What color is your room: Red brick
What color is your bathroom: red brick. boring.
What do you use to IM: Windows messenger
What is your home page: Facebook
What is in your nightstand draw: Books. tablets. lots of crap
What is your favorite scent: vanilla
What is your favorite perfume: dunno
What is your favorite store: Harvey Norman
What do you fear: Growing old alone
What did you have for supper: Not that time yet
What's your good luck charm?: I dont have one
What is the best song you've ever heard?: Angel by A-ha
What's your bedroom like?: Kind of neat. A few things hanging around tho.
What's the last thing you said?: Whos a sooky puppy - to Monty
What is beside you?: The coffee table
What is the last thing you ate?: The Special K bar
What kind of shampoo do you use?: Whatever I buy.
What's the best thing that happend to you this year?: nothing yet
What's you favorite feature in the opposite sex?: dunno

Name two people you miss really badly: Debbie and Grant
Where are they: Deb in in WA and Grant is in Tassie
Is any one mad at you: No idea
Who do you truly hate: Anyone who is ignorant to people who are different
Does any one like you: As a friend...plenty do. But not more than that
Who is the last person you went to the beach with: Grant & Peter
Who is the last person you went to the movies with: Clare
Who is the last person you went to the mall with: Julie
Who is the last person to call you: Mumzy
Who is the last person to IM you: Kylie
Who is the last person to E-mail you: Fubby
Who is the last person you IM'd: I cant remember
Who is the last person you E-mailed: Email to plenty of people
Who is the last person you called: Centrelink
Who or what were you named after: My middle name is after my great grandmother
Who is your favorite cartoon character?: Stewie Griffin
Who is your hero?: Amanda Tapping
Who do you know that is most likely to gossip?: I cant say her name here. She would crack the shits.
Who is the most experimental person you know?: No idea
Who would you like to go on vacation with the most?: My soul mate - whoever that is
Is there a person who is on your mind right now?: No, sadly.
Who is your loudest friend?: Janelle - The shocker. Luv ya mate.
Grumpiest friend: Hmmmmmm unable to say.
Slow friend: dunno
Who is the pimp?: Grant probably. HAHAH! Hes so cool.
The innocent friend: Julie. Shes a sweetie.
The shy one?: I dont have any shy friends
One that always swears?: MAZ!!!!!
The geek?: Any of my IT friends....That includes me (iIm a geek)
The one that always gets hurt?: Dunno
The jock?: none of them
The one with the worst memory?: can i say me?
The drama queen?: Cant say here.
The gangster?: None of them
The comedian?: Clare. She cracks me up. Shes brilliant.
The flirt?: Grant again. HAHAHA!!!
The stylish one: Sammy. The clothes freak.
The small but dangerous one: THATS ME!!!!!

Do you cry a lot: No. takes a lot to make me cry
Do you make people angry: Probably.
Do you like who you are: Sometimes.
Do you like the cold: Yep. Easier to warm up than cool down.
Do you like the heat: Once its over 32-33 degrees Im gone.
Do you like to walk in the rain: Love it.
Do you have any one in mind that you want to walk in the rain wi: Kind of.
Do you like expensive things: There are some things I would like that are expensive. But there are more important things in life.
Do people asking you too many questions in a row bother you: Doesnt bother me.
Why?: cos.
Do you like cameras: Love them. I want a digital SLR
Do you like taking pictures: Love it. Considering photography as a job.
Do you like looking up at the stars: facinates me.
Do you like puzzles: yep
How about word searches: no. boring.
Do you like coloring: yeah but havent in a loooong time
Do you want to move: One day
If yes where do you want to move to: Would love to live in Vancouver. But it wont happen.
How come: Money for a start.
Do you think the one you love is taking you over: I dont have a love.
Do you want to die: No. Im gonna live forever
Do you smoke: Sometimes
Do you drink: Socially
Do you like swimming: Love being in the water. I feel free in it.
Do you like the ocean: Love it
Why: Its very relaxing.
Do you like funerals: No
Are you morbid: No
Do you know what the word Exodus means? If so explain: Yep. Its a Stargate episode. All the Tokra have to leave their home os the Gou'ld have found them
Do you know what the word Eccentric means? If so explain: Yep. People who are different and like strange stuff. They are so cool.
Do you know what the word Solitude means? If so explain: hell yes. Its my life. And im sick of it.
Do you think you are smart: About some things.
Do you want to go to college: Not sure if I would like to go back to school
Do you have a job: No.
Do you get along with your parents: Yep. I got the best mum in the world. And dad can be pretty cool too.
Do you have any siblings: 2 older brothers
Do you get along with them: They are great. Couldnt ask for better brothers.
Do you have any animals: Monty and Lily
Do you believe in magic: In some respects.
Do you have your own room: I live alone. So umm.. yes.
Do you do your own laundry: Yep
Do you want to get married: No. Its for suckers
Do you want kids: HELL NO!!!!!
Do you like doing surveys: they are fun
Do you like clowns: They are scary shits that need banning.
Do you like cheerleaders: yep
Do you like preps: what!!! Little kids who are just starting school? Oh come on!!!
Do you like going to the beach: Yeah love it.
Do you hear voices: No. Yes you do. Who said that. Me. Who. Me. Who are you?
Do you see dead people: I have seen a ghost. years ago.
Do you like to blow bubbles: Yes. And there is such a good MJ joke there.
Do you like unicorn horns: Unicorns are beautiful
Do you like candy apples: Kind of.
Do you like cotton candy: FAIRY FLOSS!!!! Yummo.
Do you enjoy fairs: Yeah they are fun
Do you like playing with fire: Yeah its fun. but im not a pyro
Do you like to go to the mall: Yeah. but I dont get there much now I live in Woop Woop
Do you believe in free will?: Hell yes.
Where do you see yourself in 2 years?: I have no idea. Im lost at the moment
Do you follow the rules or make your own?: Both.
Do you work?: I wish
Do you like to work?: When I have a job.
Do you care about the environment?: Of course.

Have you been called a slut before: Yeah but it was only cos we were joking around
Did it bother you: It was funny.
Have you ever thought you were in love: Once
Have you ever swam in the ocean: yep
Have you ever surfed?: Ive floated along on a surfboard
Was it fun: loved it
Have you ever walked out on the break water to a light house: Nope
Have you ever been inside a light house: Dont think so. Ive be TO a lighthouse.
Have you lost any one close to you: Only pets. And thats bad enough
Ever witnessed some one dying: Mistie died in my arms (my old sheltie)
Ever been to any funerals: Yes
Have you ever been in a fist fight: no
Have you ever gotten detention: hehe Yes
Have you ever been suspended: no
Have you ever been expelled: no
Have you ever passed out from being drunk: Close to it. But no.
Have you ever asked any one out: No
Have you ever had heat stroke: Once
Have you ever eaten any bubbles: HAHA Who hasn't
Have you ever been in an ambulance: Stupid question. Of course I have.
Have you ever had stitches: After 20 odd operations I would think so
Have you ever had any ex-rays: i glow from the radiation.
Ever had to have surgery: 20 odd operations.
Tried to wash your hair in the rain?: No
Ever thought about becoming an actor/actress?: Yes. But who would hire someone like me.
Fantasized about the same sex?: LOL!!!!
Ever had a dream about your friends bf/gf?: No
Slapped or punched a guy in the face?: no
Dated more than one person at a time with out them knowing about: no
Loved someone so much it hurt?: no
Regretted breaking it off with someone?: no
Wanted to enter American Idol?: I can't sing to save myself.
Laughed at something when no one else thought it was funny?: Hell yes. Always.
Wrote a letter to someone and never mailed or sent it?: Yep
Cried while listening or singing a song?: yes
Stole something from someone's house at a party?: no
Burped in public?: Always
Walked barefoot in the sand?: yes
Whistled while you worked?: yes. Im the 8th dwarf.
Watched disney movies as an adult?: Yes.
Swore with little kids around?: Yes. Whoops.
Wrote a song for your bf/gf?: no
Ever peed your pants from laughing too hard?: no...close tho.
Held a gun?: A slug gun when I was younger. But dad was holding it too.
Shot a gun?: With dad.
Won a trophy?: no...nothing. :-(
Wanted to be a cop?: yeah
Pierced anything?: Ears
Felt like you were the smartest one in the room?: Once or twice. LOL.
Laughed and cried at the same time?: yep

Are you happy with your life: Not at the moment
Are you random: Sometimes. At RANDOM intervals. lol.
Are you happy you are alive: yes
Are you a geek: Hell yes
Are you good at math: Yeah
Are you good at history: I dont know. But it does fascinate me.
Are you good at English: Kinda.
Are you good at science: No.
What other languages do you speak: English, and bad english. Oh I can say a few words in Klingon.
Are you cold: No.Im snuggled under the doona with Monty
Are you happy: Kinda.
Are you sad: nah
Are you confused: nah
Are you shy: yes. until I get to know someone.
Do you feel comfortable walking around your house naked?: No
Non-stop partying or relaxing day by the pool?: Relaxing, with a nice bourbon by the pool.
Sun glasses and a hat, or a scarf and a hoody?: Sunglasses
Soda or Energy drink?: Pepsi or a can of Black V.
Small town or crowded city?: Either.
Manual labor or desk job?: I have no choice do I . Desk job.
If you could have any super power what would it be?: Flying.
Hero or Villian? Why?: Hero. i dont like it when people hate me.
Celebrity you want to meet?: AMANDA TAPPING.
Weapon of choice?: P90.
Do you have Deja Vu ever?: Yep. huh.... yep.
World peace or anarchy?: World peace.
Confrontation or avoidance?: i think we need to confront things to work them out.
Do you sometimes get depressed just because?: Always.
Hissy fit or rage?: Neither
Watch or do?: Both
Procrastinate or get a head start?: i procrastinate. So many things I would like to do.
Invincibility or eternal youth?: Invincibility. Does that mean no pain?
Vampire or zombie?: Vampire. at least I would have a brain
Now which would you rather fight?: Huh? Fight who?
If you could just walk up and shoot anyone, who would it be?: No one. thats terrible.
Football or Soccer?: Soccer if I had to choose. Football sux.
Emoticons (:D, ;), :p) or explaining yourself *signs heavily*?: Emots.

Where were you born: Box Hill
Where are you: Home
Where do you wish you were: With my soul mate
Where is your favorite place to be: At the moment...bed.
How many times have you moved: umm...let me count....15 times
Where did you get your clothes you are wearing: Cant remember. Got my jeans at the Moor
Where do you like to shop?: Anywhere.
Where did you go for your last date: Pierres in Launceston. So long ago....
Where is the furthest place you've been to?: Perth WA
Where is your favorite place to eat?: Maccas lol.
Where is your cell phone right now?: On the coffee table right in front of me
Where are you going after this?: No where... to do the dishes.
It's Thursday at noon, where are you usually?: Home
Where have you gone on vacation?: Tassie, WA, SA, Qld.
Where have you gotten off an airplane?: Launceston. Melbourne. Moorabin. Tyabb.
Where do you prefer: Las Vegas or Hiking in the Alps?: Las Vegas would be my pick
Where do you like to relax?: The couch
Where do you go on the weekends?: Nowhere
Where is your best friend right now?: At home probably

Given anyone a bath: Only babies
Smoked: Yep
Bungee Jumped: I wish
Made yourself throw-up: yeah...if I felt sick enough
Gone skinny dipping: nope
Put your tongue on a frozen pole: Nah
Broken a bone: Lost count of how many.
Played truth or dare: Yeah years ago
Been in a physical fight: no
Been in a police car: no
Come close to dying: no
Been in a sauna: yeah
Been in a hot tub: yeah
Fallen asleep in school: yep. lol.
Ran away: When I was a kid
Broken someone's heart: No
Cried when someone died: Of course
Flashed someone: Yeah. I was drunk.
Cried in school: Yep
Fell off your chair: HAHAHA!!! When I was drunk. LOL!!
Sat by the phone all night waiting for a call: ages ago
Saved MSN conversations: yeah
Saved e-mails: yep
Made out with just a friend: No
Used someone: No
Been cheated on?: No
Done something you regret?: Hasn't everyone
Had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?: YES!!! LOL!!!
Had your heart broken?: No...Gotta have been in love for that.
Had a good feeling about something?: Yep
Had a near death experience?: no
Swam in freezing water: Yep
Jumped off a house: No
White water rafted?: No
Pulled an all nighter?: Yes...at Scottys 40th.
Surfed?: No
Lied about your age?: hehehe. Yes
Had a green Christmas?: A what?

Yeah! Sure! This is right!

2009-02-23T11:07:00.000+11:00

How will I die? Your Result: You will die while having sex. Your last moments in this life will be enjoyable indeed...hopefully. Do not fear sex. Try not to become celibate as a way of escaping death. You cannot run from destiny.
You will die in your sleep.
You will die while saving someone's life.
You will die from a terminal illness.
You will die of boredom.
You will die in a car accident.
You will be murdered.
You will die in a nuclear holocaust.
How will I die? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Who am I again?

2009-02-22T15:56:00.001+11:00

Which Terminator Character Are You?

More on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Created by BuddyTV

Which X-Men character am I?

2009-01-22T11:41:00.001+11:00

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause.

You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them.

Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

What keyboard key am I?

2009-01-19T12:45:00.000+11:00

You Are "esc"

Some people might try to say that you're unreliable or flighty.

But you can't help it. You're always finding yourself in sticky situations.

You're willing to bail if things are looking bad. You are quite impatient.

For you, having to escape every now in then is the price of taking risks. And you're not about to stop taking risks!

What Keyboard Key Are You?

Steer - A music MEME!

2009-01-09T19:41:00.003+11:00

1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag friends who might enjoy doing them as well as the person you got it from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY
Be somebody - Kings of Leon

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Footloose - Kenny Loggins

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Hurry home - a-ha

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
One wish - Roxette

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Red blooded woman - Kylie Minogue

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
On My feet - Gush

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Ride a white horse - Goldfrapp

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Monkey on my back - Client

WHAT IS 2+2?
Falling apart - Reckless hearts

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Here without you - 3 doors down (how true)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
A thing about you - Roxette

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Shes like the wind - Patrick Swayze

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Wild child - Heart

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Time after time - Cyndi Lauper

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
This is how a heart breaks - Rob Thomas

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
You ought to know - Then Jerico

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Take on me - a-ha (ROFL!!!)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Be like that - Matchbox 20

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Afterglow - INXS

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Vanishing - Bryan Adams

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Empty of feeling - Savoy

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Chariot - Page France

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Breath of life - Erasure

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Milk - Garbage

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Angels would fall - Melissa Etheridge

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
The fool is me - Tina Cousins (hahaha I think that sums it up well)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Come undone - Duran Duran

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
It ain't love - 1927

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
I can't cry - Charlie Sexton

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Bad influence - Pink

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Steer - Missy Higgins

STORY TIME FROM THE LAST SONG:
I love this bar - Toby Keith

New Words

2008-12-15T23:52:00.002+11:00

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are last year's winners.

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the lot:

17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

What planet am I from? Finally answered!

2008-12-14T11:58:00.002+11:00

Your result for What Planet are You From? Test...

You are from Mars!

20% Mars

You probably suspected you were a Martian all along.

Mars is the planet that is commonly called the “Red Planet” because it appears to be red. Okay, that was kind of obvious, I know. But it has been the one that most people on Earth think of as being the most likely planet to hold life. Recent findings might even help prove that there was actually life on Mars.

Mars is named after the Roman god of war. This guy definitely had a spunky personality. You have to have when Roman legions that go out and take over countries are worshipping you. The definitely wouldn’t be turned on to some wimp when they are there to maim and destroy.

But what does this all have to do with you?

Well, as a Martian you are probably one that is a bit rebellious in nature and like to do things your own way. You like to keep your personal things personal and don’t like people being too nosey about your business. So, what are you up to, Martian?

You probably get bored quickly and give in to impulse buying when you see something that you really like. You more than likely don’t save money because you like living life and not just existing in it. You can also be a bit stubborn and don’t really care what people think.

As far as relationships go you might be a bit hard to get to know at first, but once someone gets to know you and finds a place in your heart you are their friend for life. You don’t betray your friends.

So, Martian, I wish you luck in your attempt to overtake the world!

Take What Planet are You From? Test at HelloQuizzy

Day 9 - Home Time - 211008

2008-11-26T14:28:00.005+11:00

It was daylight when we left! Nice change. Redda drove cos he knew I wanted to stop at the dish at Parkes. Which we did. I loved it. It was closed at the time. We were early. So we didnt go in. I wish we could have. It is 64m across. HUGE!!!

You have to turn off video cameras and phones when you go there. Mum went and got a good pic for me (the sun was in the wrong spot for me). And when she got back her hair was like it was all full of static. It was a pisser!
Drove for hours. Stopped at Forbes to get petrol and suddenly there are people waiting on us in the servo!!! YES IT IS A FULL SERVICE SERVO!!! Petrol was done for us, and they even cleaned the window!
Then laughed my guts out cos there was a place called Bogan Gate!!! For all the ones who dont know what a bogan is, its a feral, or a red neck!

Marsden, West Wylong, Alleena, GRONG GRONG, Narrandera, Gillenbah, Corobimilla, Jerilderie, Finley and TOCUMWAL!!!

How bloody dry is this place?!?

Finally got back to mums at about 1pm. Monty went spastic when he saw me. I missed him too. He was so excited. So after he finally settled down a bit I just chucked all my stuff in my car and headed home. Too tired to stop. Just wanted to get home, check on the cat and unpack.
All was fine at home. Star was good! Meowed his little face off when he saw me, and he has been close by ever since. Poor baby!
The holiday was great. I really enjoyed it. Mum has no idea how much I appreciate what she did for me. I’m so lucky to have her! My fave bit was definitly Australia Zoo. I just had the best day there and could have spent hours more there.
I want to go back there one day to see more. Now that I have had a holiday (first one in 14 years) and travelled a bit, I want to travel more. All I want to do is to just bugger off and travel and go from place to place. I just want to live!

Day 7 - Last day - 191008

2008-11-16T13:53:00.007+11:00

Boring! Did bugger all in the morning. I don’t understand why they have driven all the way up here only to sit at the appartment. Geez I would be out and about. Just walking somewhere and having a nosey.

At around 11 they decided to go to some factory outlet place down the road. So off we went. Got there and discovered a cool little market on the foreshore. So bugger the factory outlets, we went for a wander through there. Lots of cool stuff. Heaps of arty farty stuff. Went down to the beach and reaised we were just outside the Kurrawa Surfers Club, where we had tea on Wednesday night.

A bit of Star Trek on the Gold Coast

The beach was packed. Watched some youngens play volleyball for a while then went back for a wander.

Ended up in Broadbeach Mall. Found Maccas and had lunch. Wandered around a bit more then went back (again) to the appartment.

I just played the pc for a few hours. Then at about 5 Narelle turns up. So we sat out on the balcony and had a drink and chatted a while. She is so cool. Its been great to catch up with her. To get to know her again. I wish I could have had more time to spend with her. I think we could get along really well.

That night was boring too. Heading off early in the morning so had a very early night.

HELP!!!

2008-11-16T13:52:00.001+11:00

Day 6 - I GOT ELEPHANT SNOT ON MY HAND - 181008

2008-11-05T16:48:00.010+11:00

Another early morning. We went to Australia Zoo today. Steve Irwins Zoo. It was amazing. I don’t think I have had such a brilliant day for as long as I can remember.

It was about a 2 hour drive from here at Surfers. Saw the Glasshouse Mountains. Weird looking buggers they are.

Arrived half an hour early so had to wait at the gates with heaps of others. Got in and I went and hired a scooter. It was so much easier, after I got over the crashing in to things and almost running over young children (it was accidental....some of the time). It was great not having to push the damn chair up and down hills and shit. And it was easier on mum too. Saved her from having to help me about.

Saw heaps of crocs and lizards and aligators. Saw the tortoises get fed. Galioth and Igloo (I think).

Got to feed Sari(?) the elephant. It was trippy. I GOT ELEPHANT SNOT ON MY HAND!!!! She was the eldest on there, 52 years old. I just love them. So graceful.
Then we went to the Crocoseum for the Wildlife Warriors Show. Heaps of birds and snakes. Then SHAKA the croc came out and did his thing, which is basically swimming about and trying to grab the dead chicken bits. Bloody scary buggers they are. The way they can rise up in the air out of the water is amazing.

Got to pat a drop bear (Koala) and a kangaroo (eeeer Skiiiip!) Saw the echidnas (ekindas).
After that it was off to Elephantasia and watched the elephants for ages. The handlers were there and they did a talk on how they care for them. They gave one a bath and they (the elephunkles) did a few tricks like lifting logs and bowing down. They are so gorgeous. I just love them. I took so many photos of them it was unbelieveable.

Tigers were next. OMG I fell in love!!! These beauties are fantastic! Their handlers were in the enclosure playing with them. One guy was lying on the grass and had 3 tigers playing with him and snuggling in. So B E A U tiful! They were all playing together and grabbing tails and chasing one another. The only problem was the damn reflection off the glass, made taking photos a prick!

We went thru the aviary and by this time Redda was having problems walking and we had been around. I think they were just ready to go. I could have stayed there all day. It was about 2.30 I think. I took the scooter back and got back in my chair, then remembered I didn’t get the photo that they took of me when I fed the elephunkle. So mum went to find Redda outside the exit somewhere and I scadaddled off quickly back to the Crocoseum to get my pic. Bloody hundreds to search thru to find it (and of course it was up high and I had to ask for help) and then was pissed off cos there was a big PROOF written in red right across it. You have to pay to get one done and cos Mum and Redda were basically already left I didnt have time to get it done. So I just gotta scan it in when I get home and try to photoshop it a bit. I took heaps more photos there. You can see em on my facebook page http://www.facebook.com/home.php?src=fftb#/profile.php?id=1224076245&ref=name

We got home at about 5 ish I think. And cos I was so hyped I got my bathers on and jumped in the pool. It was so nice. The pool is heated here. I havent been swimming in so long. Plus I didnt have my flippers! But I still managed to get from one end to the other, even tho I couldn’t reach the bottom at the shallow end. I even managed to stay under the entire length and not come up for air. Jumped in the spa next. It was hot. And so relaxing. Couldn’t figure out how to turn it off though, then I realised it was on a timer! DER!!!

Anyway, now its only 8pm. Mum has already passed out in bed and Redda is snoring on the chair. And I am not tired. Still on a high I think. No idea what is planned for tomorrow. I don’t think anything is, just a go with the flow day. Its our last day up here so I hope we dont waste it!

Day 5 - BORING!!!! 171008

2008-11-05T16:42:00.002+11:00

Got to kind of sleep in today. Mum and Redda took the car down for a service. Needed a wheel balance and shit. So even though I woke early I still stayed in bed for a while longer. When they got back I suggested we go to HarbourTown, where they have all the factory outlets. So off we went. Just walked around there for a while. Bought some trakky dax and a few tops. And got another stubby holder (a Gold Coast one).

That all took us a few hours, then just came home. Got lost on the way and the squabbles began again. And they wonder why I bought a new MP3 player!!!

Did nothing in the afternoon. Napped. Thats about it. It was a bit of a boring day. I think we were all a bit touchy too. Was a bit of a narky day. Probably all getting on each others nerves. So I just went down and checked my emails and facebook and stuff to get away on my own for a bit. Thats about it! Boring hey!

The only photo I took today.

Beaches, Seaworld and Rude Barsted Men - Day 4 161008

2008-10-27T14:25:00.009+11:00

We were up and ready early so we decided to go down to the beach for a look. Such a beautiful place. OMG its gorgeous! The sand is so clean and soft. Hard to move on in a wheelchair! I just wobbled down to the beach holding onto a railing so I could say that I had stood on it (the beach, not the railing).

Got some pics and then we went off for a walk down the street. Had a nosey in a few shops but avoided most of them. I don’t think we could have even afford to look in the window of Cartier and Gucci! Got back in the car and drove off. The roads here are getting all set for the Indy Cars which arrive next week. All fencing and stuff everywhere. We heard yesterday that it takes them 6 weeks to get it all ready and 6 weeks to take it all down!

Then off to Seaworld we went. Got there about 10. It was busy already. We slowly wandered down to the dolphin show which was on at 1045. Saw some little dolphins in the nursary on the way. We got there just in time. It was packed. But thankfully me being me, we got ushered in a different way and given a reserved seat right at the front. Oh being disabled has its advantages! Anyway, the dolphin show was fantastic.

They are so beautiful and smart and I was just amazed at the connection the handlers have with them. The dolphins were literally hugging them. So touching.Tear! Took plenty of video and pictures.

We went on the monorail around the park. Once again, we got a specially reserved car for us. Told mum I felt like I was a dog the way I was racing from one side to the other to get photos. LOL! She gave me a strange look. Redda just wanted to go to sleep on the chairs. We did offer to leave him there to travel round and round while we went and checked the place out, but he decilined.

What do starfish and men have in common? NO BRAIN!!!! HAHAHA

The polar bear was amazing. He wasnt there when we first went to see him, and by the time we walked all the way down the ramp he was out, so off up the ramp we went. Poor mum! But then I suppose its good Im not heavy. But the polar bear..... I think he came out just to show off. He sat on the rock in the middle, doing what I am sure was posing!

Then chased a seagul and landed in the water. Swum about a bit and played with his toys and dove down. Was so cute. The rudest of rude men was there. There was a small gap and I just asked him politely if I could just squash in and he turned around with a “fucking unbelievable” and stormed off! Mum yelled back at him that he was the unbelievable one! So that all upset me a bit. HOW VERY RUDE!!!!

We just walked around for a few more hours. Loved the underwater viewing of the sharks and stuff. The sting rays were great. I could have stayed there for hours just watching them.

There was this one fish (which was only a toadie) who kept coming up to the window and just staring at us, showing his teeth. He cracked me up.

Ran into a guy from Warneet we used to know. Mum actually bought her old house off him. Small world huh. Got himself a mail order bride by the look of it! Sleaze. We were going to go to the 4D show but were too late, same with the seal show. And I really wanted to get my photo taken with a sea lion but mum didnt want to hang around that long. So we left at about 2pm.

Came home and just rested then. Had a nice nap. And just sat around the rest of the night.

Queensland, MP3s and Strip Clubs. Day 3 - 151008

2008-10-24T13:52:00.005+11:00

We left the hotel at 8am this morning and went back down the jetty. Tide was right in this time. Took heaps of pics and chatted to some locals. Had a bit of a joke with mum about the pelicans and how there was one lonely one on his own (we named him, but I won’t say what here).

Then left Ballina and headed towards Tweed Heads. Took a few hours. Wished I had my iPod at this stage. Would be nice to escape some times...hehe! Anyhoo, finally crossed the QUEENSLAND border. YAY I FINALLY GOT TO QUEENSLAND!

Drove along the coast thru all the suburbs, Currumbin, Miami, Broadbeach and so on. Couldn't see any Kurts properties in Broadbeach. Used to work for them. We decided to go to the Pacific Fair shopping centre as it was only 9am (Queensland don’t have day light savings so we are an hour behind now) and we couldn’t check in to the apartment til 2pm. So we walked around there a while. I would love to go there on my own. We saw bugger all of it. Mum isn’t a shopper and poor Redda has bad legs, so didn’t see much at all. Ran into Suzy & Eric on their honeymoon, which is trippy cos mum & Redda went to their wedding down at Berwick last weekend. Went into Target and got a cheap MP3 player (the cheapest) so I can now listen to music again. Then Narelle (my 2nd or 3rd cousin) rang and we found out that mums 1st cousin Cliffy (Ral’s dad) was close by so we met him there and went and had a coffee and a chat. Were there a while then decided to come here to the apartment and see if we could get in early, which we could.Where we are staying!!! NOT!!! HAHAHA!!

The view from our balcony

So here we are in the apartment in Surfers Paradise. YAY! We are meeting Cliffy and Ral tonight for tea. Should be good. Right now mum is napping (she deserves it) and Redda is here watching the telly and I am about to go down to the computer room here and post this.....

I will post more when I can...... Chow for now!

Ok its now early Thursday morning but I’m going to finish day 3 before I start 4.
I went down to the computer and found it was just one internet pc, with no USB port. Damn. Mean s I can’t upload this here. So hopefully soon I can find somewhere to do it. We went for a walk down the street. There is a shopping centre not far down.

Hahaha Snort!!

The main street on Chevron Island

Heaps of trendy cafes and bars. We saw how the other half live. Got some grog then walked back. Sat down and had a wine with mum (I had no Pepsi to have a bourbon). Then just after 6 Narelle and Cliffy picked us up and off we went out to tea. We went to the Kurrawa Surfers Club. Had to wait for ages for a table. But sat at the bar and had a few drinks and chatted and caught up.

Mum and Cliffy

It was pretty busy in there. Heeeeaaappps of people. One of the guys that works there who Ral knows name was Avon! (Ding dong...) lol!

Narelle

Tea was beautiful. Had a chicken burger and chips. Chips were yummo! But I’m a chippy freak and could live off them. When we left Narelle took us for a drive down the strip. I think she might be a lead foot like me (hehe). She pointed out the strip clubs, lol! I wouldn’t mind going for a walk down there during the day. It was raining by this stage. So much for all the nice warm Queensland weather I heard all about. We got back to the apartment and they left and we came in and went to bed.

Cardboard whales & big bananas ... Day 2 14/10/08

2008-10-23T17:42:00.008+11:00

Ok..now this was yesterday and I was too tired last night to write it. And right now I am already in Surfers Paradise and my notes are in the car so I just have to try and remember it.

Left Taree at about 8am. And drove along til we got to Port Macquarie. Beautiful place.

We got out of the car and took some pics by the ocean. I really liked it there. We drove into the town (by accident – don’t ask) and I saw a bit of that. And then we drove off and got to a town called Fredericktown (I think) and stopped at a place called Fredos Pies where we decided to have brekkie. Had the yummiest Sheppard pie! And got a fantastic pic of mum posing with Marilyn Munroe...

The next stop was Coffs Harbour. B E A Utiful! Loved it! We got out of the car and went for a nice walk along the foreshore. They had speed humps there, which I jokingly said were for wheelchairs, so mum drove me over some.

They had Whale watching tours there from $20. Bloody cheap, but we decided that maybe you don’t actually get to see a whale. Maybe they just have a cardboard one that they wave across the front of the ship...LOL!

Saw the Big Banana at Coffs, didn’t go in though. Anyone would think we were in a huge hurry.

So off we went. Drove further north. Got to some cane fields. I had never seen sugar cane (except on the telly). There was heaps of it. Lots of roadworks along the way too. Couldn’t believe e it all. 38k of it at one stage.

Then we finally got to Ballina at about 2.30pm I think. Found a hotel and then went into town. Had a look around the shops. Finally got a stubby holder. I wanted to collect one from each town we stayed at but couldn’t find one for Taree. So got one with Ballina on it. Then went into the cheap shop next door and found an even nicer one that was cheaper, but too late.

Bought some birthday cards for the girls in Tassie. Then went down to the jetty. Was nice there. But the tide was almost out. So we decided we would go back this morning. Then back to the hotel. Had a bbq tea then piked it. I think I was asleep by 830pm!!! And for those of you who know me know that that is blooooody early for me. I’m normally a 2-3am person. Very rarely before midnight anyway.

So that was day 2.

Day 1 - It's just the beginning! 13th October 2008

2008-10-22T11:52:00.008+11:00

Well I woke at 430am after 2 restful hours of sleep (yawn. Got ready and went over to Toc to mums place. At 615 we finally headed off on our merry journey. It was only just starting to get light. Had to keep our eye out for skippies. Didn’t want to hit one of the barsteds. Make such a mess on the car.

A town named URANA!!! Of course we would all love to get out and stick an S on the town name sign wouldn’t we. Can you imagine it? “Yes, I live in Uranas!” ROFL!

Mum nicking the lollies!

We then got stuck behind this shocker of a truck. This barsted didn’t know where the left hand side of the road was, and he was going slower than we would have liked. Mum tried passing once and he swerved into the middle of the road. So we got stuck behind him for ages. Finally passed him then watched the idiot behind us passing other cars and still swerving all over the place. Anyway we were finally free of him so kept on going.

CAR CRASH!!!

By this time I really needed the loo!!! I didn’t say anything as if we stopped those trucks would pass us and we would have to get by them again. Only 60K to Wagga Wagga. Rough road and lots of potholes help! Rides!! Who needs Dreamworld. Oh there was a dead skippy too. I suggested to mum that we play the roadkill game but she politely declined and just told me to play on my own. Hey I suppose I’m used to playing with myself...whoops...by myself! Bloody seatbelt pushing on my bladder!! We aren’t far out of Wagga now. And Redda is already rolling a smoke ready to light it the second he gets out of the car. LOL! Glad I don’t need those anymore. This area reminds me of the Midlands Hwy in Tassie, near the highest point. Oh now it’s different.

At Wagga Wagga. Stopping for Brekkie. AND A WEE BREAK!! This place reminds me of Launceston. Lots of old houses and stuff. I don’t know, it just has a similar feel. My ear is playing up, like I’m on a plane. Wonder if we are at a high altitude. On the road to Gundagai, Lalala! Just going onto the Hume Highway. Oh we bypass Gundagai, so we miss seeing the dog on the tuckerbox.

OK just slept for an hour. I dreamt that Monty was here in the car with me. When I woke up I looked for him. Poor baby. Anyway, just outside of Yass. Stopping for fuel.

Back on the road. About 250k south of Sydney now. Just asked mum and we have travelled 458k so far, and its 1137am. Oh a town called Breadalbane!! Are we in Tassie? I got UH HUH HER blaring in my ears. So addicted. I tried to update my iPod last night cos this album isn’t on it. And I think the barsted is dying. It said that I needed to run a scan of the drive for errors then said it couldn’t do it and it wouldn’t update. So I think I might be stuck with what’s on there. Shite.

My knee is burning from the heat of the laptop. Going to be a nice day I think. I would normally only be waking up. Cos we all know I have no life. There’s a turnoff to Canberra....Peter Harvey............................Caaannberar! Clare is laughing right now. I bet you said it out loud didn’t you! Oh I really love this song “Well are you such a dreamer, but yourself in my shoes, careful what you wish for love...” It’s such a nice song. OOOOOOO OOOOOooooo! Now I see red is on. Love this song too. So addicted to this band. Hey I found out that one of the girls in the band, liesha Hailey, used to be in the band the Murmurs. They sung that YOU SUCK song. Remember? “Well there’s dust on my guitar you fuck, and it’s all your fault. You paralyse my mind and for that YOU SUCK!” HAHA! I have to say I prefer UHH though.

Went past a place called Marulan, where mum and dad got scammed with the pine tree plantation back in the early 70s. Saw the turnoff to Bowral. Shouldn’t have made that backpacker joke, didn’t go down too well. Whoops! I’m also starting to trip out cos we’re going past places where I used to do the CNI database for at Telstra. Sydney was my area. I still remember the exchange codes of all the places and it’s been over 6 years now. Sad I know.

Signs by the side of the road keep saying it is a high wind area, I always thought it was a high wind area with me! HAHA! Going thru the western suburbs of Sydney. Don’t get to go over the Bridge. Doh. But it would have been to shocking with the traffic. So that’s ok.

A weird looking Subway north of Sydney

Drove along, bypassed Newcastle and stopped for another piss stop. Went thru a place called Bulahdelah! Urana is still my fave hehe! There was also a place called Wang Wauk! ROFL! So funny.

So now were here at Taree. We did 990k today (that’s 615 mile for all the oldies). We should have gone another 10 to make it the 1000 but poor mum was just exhausted. She is in bed nodding off already and its only 810pm.

Haven’t really seen the town much yet. Went for a drive to the bottle-o to get a drink and saw the river here. Looks so pretty.. It reminds me of the river at Scamander in Tassie. I think I’m missing Tassie cos everything is reminding me of it. We are going to go to Barrina tomorrow, about 450k away. Only a small trip then. Not an 11 and a half hour one like today. I am exhausted. So goodnight for now!

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

2008-10-01T14:46:00.000+10:00

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In.'
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For Personal Services'
7. Finish all your sentences with 'in accordance with the prophecy.'
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go.'
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream 'I won!, I won!'
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling 'run for your lives, they're loose!!'
19. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.......
20. Put this in your blog to make your friends smile...Its called therapy.

iPod Fun

2008-09-20T16:15:00.002+10:00

I got this off a post in livejournal....

Step 1: Put your iPod player on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 32 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Let everyone guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Bold the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!

1 - You say somethings got a hold on you

2- Girl one....talk to me

3- Hey driver, where we goin'

4- Driven round in circles for three hours

5- The light ... it flickers

6- Some sign of forgivness, some form of relief

7- When you are losing direction you can depend on me

8- Tonight I feel so weak but all in love is fair

9 - I wanna feel just like before, before the rain came in my door

10 - Hello did ya miss me, I know I'm hard to resist

11 - Told me you were lookin, said I shouldn't look at you that way

12 - I don't believe in temple faith

13 - I can't see me in this empty space, just another lonely face

14 - Well I'm standing here looking at you

15 - I'm walking around , feels like a thousand ways I could fall

16 - I just can't believe it was all a lie

17 - Living here without you is not an easy way of life

18 - Hey hey honey when I'm without you I get a shiver up and down my spine

19 - Hitched a ride out of nowhere

20- Read my lips I'm into you

21 - American people with marvelous hair

22 - It feels so far, so far away

23 - Why was I the last to know

24 - Going down the hard road

25 - So please let me come to you and stay this time

26 - You know every time I look at that expression printed on the page

27 - We got winners, we got losers

28 - Did I disappoint you

29 - You're so complicated

30 - The cold has a voice

Help me! Help me! I don't know who I am!

2008-09-11T22:19:00.004+10:00

Sad isn't it? 37 years old and I have no idea who I am.

I have been thinking deeply about this lately. Trying to work out exactly where I fit in in this world. And I still have no idea.

I came back from Tassie cos I thought I belonged here, with family. That didn't work out. Mum is the only family I see often. And don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for that. I love her heaps. She is my rock. But I hardly see the others. And I think that I am so different to the rest of the family that I really don't know where I fit in. I'm not saying this in a bad way. Its just the way I am. The way things are. We are different. And that is a good thing. We are individuals. The only bad thing about it is that I don't know what to talk to them about sometimes, and I think its vice-versa with them. They probably don't know what to talk to me about. I also think that I am becoming a loner. Maybe thats the way its meant to be. I mean, I'm always going to be alone, so I may as well get used to it now.

I'm sorry. I am still struggling with the big black cloud. I'm actually careful what I write here as family and friends know about this blog. Although I don't know if anyone reads it. No one leaves comments. I don't think anyone reads it now. But I will still post my real in depth thoughts on my other blog. The one that only I know the address of. The one that only I read. Its where I can really be me, and just let it all out.

I really hate this depression. I don't want to do anything apart from sleep, play on the net, and watch tv. I don't want to go out. I don't want to visit anyone. And when I do see people, I just pretend I'm fine.

This is so hard, and I just feel like I'm all alone. Maybe, like I said before, because I always will be alone.

The joys of depression

2008-09-06T12:36:00.006+10:00

Hi again
Here's something that some of you don't know about me... I have depression. What I want to know is why we hide it? Why do we pretend? I know I do. I even pretend in front of family. They know I have it, yet they don't see it. I even pretend in front of my mother, the one person who I feel closest to. Are we ashamed of it? I know others with depression, and they hide it too. There is such a bad stigma attached to it. Like its something bad. Like we SHOULD be ashamed. Why should I be ashamed that I have a chemical imbalance? If I had cancer I wouldn't hide it. I don't hide my disability, so why should I hide my depression?

Maybe subconsciously I worry that people will judge me for it. Think that there's something wrong in my head (besides the obvious - ha ha!) That maybe I am psycho. Or that maybe I am weak. Can't handle the real world. Oversensitive. Overreact. The last two I have actually been told that I am. And by people who I thought would understand. I know that I think too much. I over analyse things. I always have. And believe me, I hate it.

Then there are the people who think you should just "snap out of it". Yeah right. They don't understand how powerful this illness is. How it rips at your soul. It eats away everything that makes you who you are.

I can understand how people with severe depression can commit suicide. I can understand how they feel. How they just want the torment to end. They wake each day to a new battle. Each day....a battle. And they just get sick of fighting it. You lose the will. The strength. I have even contemplated it. I know how I would do it. But I wouldn't. I have been around when someone attempted it, unsuccessfully. And I saw what it did to the people who would have been left behind. I couldn't do it to my mum. For her, I keep fighting.

Now I don't want you all to think that all I think about is topping myself. Because I don't. I'm not that severe. I still want to fight. I still look for that light at the end of the tunnel.

I just hope I find it soon.

Short note....

2008-09-05T20:54:00.003+10:00

I haven't written here for a while. Two reasons. One is because I have such a boring life that I don't really have anything exciting to write about, and two is because I have been feeling crap lately and didn't think that my mood would come off well here. I have been putting a lot of effort into fighting the black cloud that is sitting on my shoulder lately. I don't know how successfully things are going, only time will tell I suppose.

I DON'T HAVE KIDS....AND NEVER WILL!

2008-08-16T15:42:00.001+10:00

FOR ALL THOSE WHO HAVE NOT GOT CHILDREN TAKE NOTE

FOLLOW THESE 14 SIMPLE TESTS BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN.

Test 1 - Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy:-

1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.

3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children:-

1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2 - Knowledge

Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which
they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior.

Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3 - Nights

To discover how the nights will feel:

1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.

Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4 - Dressing Small Children

1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.

Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5 - Cars

1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6 - Going For a Walk

Wait
Go out the front door
Come back in again
Go out
Come back in again
Go out again
Walk down the front path
Walk back up it
Walk down it again
Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
Retrace your steps
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7

Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8 - Grocery Shopping

1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9 - Feeding a 1 year-old

1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

Test 10 - TV

1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11 - Mess

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor & leave it there.

Test 12 - Long Trips with Toddlers

1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.

You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13 - Conversations

1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.

You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14 - Getting ready for work

1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work

You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!

A letter to R.....

2008-08-14T00:55:00.007+10:00

Hey all.
Not a very cheery post tonight cos I'm not exactly feeling like partying.

I just wanted to say a few words to a certain friend who I have recently found out is unwell. Even though I know she probably won't see it cos she probably doesn't read blogs.

Dear R

I know that I don't see you often. I wish I did. But I have always felt that we have a huge connection. One I can't explain. Ever since that new years eve at J's place, sitting out on the grass just talking. Ever since that night you have been my hero, and such a huge inspiration to me.

After all that you had been through up til that night, and you sat there laughing and having a ball. We talked and talked. You amazed me. Sitting there with your scarf on your head, you told me all about what you were going through. Yet you were so positive. You put me to shame thats for sure.

You got well, you fought it, and won. OMG how amazing! Beating that while raising your beautiful son. How bloody strong are you!!!!! Such strength.

Now, theres another fight ahead of you. One I wish that you didn't have to deal with. You don't deserve it. You are too good a person.

The sadness I feel, and the confusion as to why this is happening to you is just enormous. And I wish so much that there was something I could do to make it better.

And with everything that is in front of you, I just know that you will approach it with your "Stuff that shit...its not stopping me!!" attitude and still live. You will fight! I know you will.

I could never say how I feel to you, I'm too shy. But please know. You ARE my hero. You have been since the day I met you. You inspire me to be a better, stronger and more positive person. And you have held a special place in my heart since that first meeting, and I know that you always will.

Fight mate, the way I know you can.

Love you heaps R.
K

The Opening Ceremony

2008-08-09T00:41:00.007+10:00

Been sitting here watching the opening ceremony for the Olympics. Would you like to join me?

It has been pretty good. I have to say I was impressed. It was very much based on Chinese mythology, which you would expect. And I get so wrapped up in mythology!!! Maybe I should study it and become an archaeologist. Anyway, they didn't go for the high tech kind of thing, which is good. I think all that is is like "Look what I have!!! I'm better than you". Not to say that I don't enjoy the high tech, cos anyone who knows me knows I luuuurve my gadgets. But for the Opening ceremony of the Olympics, I think it should be based on the history and culture of the country that is hosting. Not on how they can outdo anyone else.

The teams are all walking out now. Australia haven't come out yet. I'm waiting to see what they are dressed in. Some years it has been very OMG!!! So I'm hoping the poor buggers haven't been dressed to embarrass this time. Remember the absolutely charming shirts they had to wear in the (I think) 1984 LA Olympics. I suppose back then they were the in thing, but they didn't really age well did they?

Here comes South Korea. Its interesting to see the different types of people and they way they act when they come in. South Korea were very stoic. Hardly smiled, just walking and waving. And here comes Cameroon, smiling their little bronzed guts' out! They seem like such happy campers. I bet they like to party and shake dat thang!

OMG they are playing bagpipes in the background. THAT SHOULD BE BANNED. It has to be the worst instrument (if you can call it that) that has ever been created. I'm sorry to all the Scotts, you are great, but the bagpipes SUCK. Don't worry, so should the didgeridoo.

Here comes Sweden. Vere is your jacuzzi? Ooonta arben eeben iben doona cover! And now Singapore, oh they look like flight attendants. Can I get you a pillow, one that smells of farts. Hehe.

Imagine the after party to this.... All the athletes who are sooo hyped up and want to party, but can't touch any grog! What a conundrum! I bet after the games they go home and party hard! I know I would! HA HA! Get smashed.

And now some country has come out that are wearing hats that look like the ones you get out of the crappy bon-bons at Christmas.

One thing I don't understand about the Olympics. All these countries come together for 2 weeks, and it is all in peace. IF WE CAN DO IT FOR 2 WEEKS (FOR A FRIKKIN SPORT EVENT) THEN WHY CAN'T WE DO IT ALL THE FREAKING TIME? But anyway, that might be a debate for another time. I don't want to start that crap this time of night.

Still waiting on Australia to come out. Its very colorful there. It would be an amazing atmosphere. I get so wrapped up in the games, so please excuse if a few of these blogs go on about them a bit in the next few weeks. And I'm not a sports person. Go figure.

AND HERE WE ARE!!! Hear that crowd! Oh...interesting um..... track suits they are wearing. Nice blue and white, but IMO they don't look that impressive. They look like they have been bought at Kmart. I'm sorry but I was expecting something better than that. Hmmmm. But anyway.... Look at them....they know how to have fun. Jumping and laughing. Aussies know how to enjoy things. Hehe. They look so happy. Good on em!

Here is China. OMG listen to the crowd!!! They look nice and bright. Red and yellow. Maccas colours! Yes I would like a cheeseburger and fries thanks. Their team is huge. Being the home team thats why, obviously, derrr!

You can see the smog there in the stadium. Actually when I was watching the very start, where the guys where drumming on the lights, I was wondering what would happen if they all were epileptic!!! It would have set anyone in the crowd off. I mean geez it was bright and flashy, just what any epileptic wants....not! OOOOO Fireworks. Thats pretty!

Now the official crap. Snore! Can't understand him. Should learn Chinese shouldn't I? Oh old Brucey Macavany (or however its spelled) is talking now. Nifty would love this! SPECIAL MOMENT THAT! Ha ha! Oh how she hates him. Can't imagine why! Back to the speeches, in English now. Whoops, now in French. Is he going to go thru all 200 odd languages of the countries there? Nah....now they are gonna open the games. YAY! I guess he said that the games are on. OOOOO more fireworks.

Here comes the Olympic flag. Laugh if they dropped it. JOKING! They are all wearing white...careful you don't shart! Time for a song...lets sing the Olympic anthem. Um LA LA LA.....LA LA LA.....LA LA LA....oh stuff that! I think I will leave it up to the professionals. Now I'm falling asleep. Sounds like something the god botherers would sing. Oh thank god thats over.... Oath time. And now some music. Oh thats pretty. (he he ... pretty.... laughs CB). Lets all make little wavey motions with our hands. Tra la la. And moooore fireworks... ooo that was a loud one.

It should be the flame now. Wonder how they are gonna light it. Yep here it is. Run Forest Run! I got my flame Lieutenant Dan! Gonna take it on my boat. He he! Sorry.... Listen to the music... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ! LOL! I apologise, I am soooo tired. It's nearly 2am. The flame has almost done the rounds. Here we go.......or should I say up we go..... wow, thats cool. Shit look how high he is. This is excellent. So well done! He is pseudo running now. (Hes faking it...hes a faker! - laugh all you family guy fans, you know its off it). He is still going. Getting close to the big thingy how. OOO its big and red. And now its hot...... its alight! OH AH LA VA VOOMP! Did that go up. Bloody brilliant if I do say so myself. And now more fireworks, which shall definitely help the smog situation.

And this concludes the opening ceremony of blah blah blah blah.

That was quiet good. I enjoyed that. I wouldn't want to be driving home from there now tho. Imagine the traffic.

Well now thats over I'm heading off to sleepy bo bos.

The song in my head tonight is "The living daylights" by A-ha.

I don't know....I just ..... I don't know!

2008-08-08T00:10:00.008+10:00

I want to write a blog. The thing is that I have been sitting here for hours thinking about what to write about, but my life is so dull that I have nothing. Damn!

School was ok this week. Did some work on payroll then went and did a bit more on MYOB. Then worked some more on OH & S on Tuesday. Got a HUUUUUGE assignment to do for that. Gonna keep us busy for ages. But then it has to be handed in on the 17th, or was it the 19th. Oh well. HAHA!

The weird thing is that I have been taking these painkillers for my back, and they kind of send me a bit wakko! Well its so funny. I get to school and I can't shut up. I sit there laughing and making jokes and just basically having fun all day. I think I pissed J off a bit on Tuesday tho. I was in top form. OMG I WAS BAD! Smiley was so tired and I think I was the only thing keeping the poor girl awake. Probably was driving her batty too. HEHE! But she is cool. She makes me laugh. We have very similar senses of humour so it goes well.

Then Wednesday, what did I do? Oh yeah, went to Cob and did the shopping. WOO HOO I hear you cry! I know the excitement of it. I did drop in and saw Smiley at her place of work and bought a snake for the door (no more breezes - but it also means the farts can't escape). We had a good gas bag, and she showed me a lovely statue of an Indian. At first I was standing next to it, pretending to be hugged by it. Then Smiley shows me what was under its loin cloth! OMG THE THING WAS ANATOMICALLY CORRECT!!! I nearly died! I also pissed myself laughing. Holy shit! She was saying how kids come in and look, so she had to put a pair of undies on it....ROFL!!!!!! I did of course put the snake I bought under his loin cloth, just for a sec cos some oldies walked in.

I have been watching a shitload of Star Trek lately. I haven't really watched any for a few years, now that Stargate has taken over as the best show ever to be created!!! I have watched all of Next Gen, most of DS9 and now Voyager. I mean I have seen them before, but as I said, not for a long time. And as much as I still do love the shows, especially Voyager, they just don't come close to SG-1. I don't know what it is about that show that really gets me in. People think of science fiction shows and think "All space ships and robots" but its not just that. Far from it. People don't realise that the shows are so character based and deal with so many deep subjects that they are more meaningful than most of the normal drama shows that are on. The only difference is that the subjects are disguised in a different format. And the characters are so well thought out. Especially the characters in Stargate. They are normal fallible people who do make mistakes. They are not the superhero types that people think they are. They aren't perfect. And I think that's one reason we love them. They are human! My favorite character is Col. Samantha Carter. She is my hero. She is such a strong woman, and so smart. She can kick arse. Handle any weapon. Yet she still holds on to her femininity. The actress who plays her, Amanda Tapping, is also brilliant. I have seen interviews and read articles about her, plus read all the blogs and forums online about people who have met her, and every one of them goes on about how much of a wonderful and kind person she is. She has done a heap of DVD commentaries on SG1 and in them she seems so down to earth and OMG has that girl got a frikkin brilliant sense of humor. She has even got her own comedy troupe. She is definitely my hero. Both Sam and Amanda. It really is my dream to meet her one day.

Mum dropped in today. Finally got the ring back from Canada. For those who don't know, mum bought it for me when she went on her holiday over there, and it was too big for me. I went to get it resized here but they were too concerned that it would have to be made so small that the stones would pop out. So as it was under warranty mum sent it back to Canadia (yes I know I spelled it rong...but I wanted too) to be done. That was back in May. And today mum turns up with it. Its sooooo b.e.a.utiful. I love it so much. My mummy is the best!!!!

I had my house inspection this morning. Had to do the usual and run around tidying up and making the place look presentable just so the agent has nothing to pick on. She turns up (on time - shock!!!) and comes in. And lovely little Monty does nothing but bark his little frikkin head off. NOICE!!!! They know I have him here. But I was just so stressed that they would say something like "OOO Noisy dog. Get rid of him". So after a few minutes the little barsted finally shut up, then the cat decides to almost get skittled out the front. Oh what a dream it is to get stressed around your estate agent!! Anyway, she was happy with everything, so it doesn't look as tho I'm going to get evicted.

Anyway, nothing else is happening. So I am going to bed. It's late and I am tired.

And oh yeah, the tests on my throat came back normal. So going to see a specialist now to get some more indepth stuff done. Maybe I'm just imagining it all!!!!

And the song in my head is "One foot in front of the other" by Bone Symphony!

Something just for Fubbs

2008-08-03T22:03:00.001+10:00

The New Lords Prayer

My vibrator, which brings me heaven
Rabbit be thy name, thy makest me cum
On earth with eyes on heaven
Give me this day my daily thrill
And forgive me my screams
As I forgive flat batteries
Lead me not into temptation
But deliver me from frustration
For thine is the rotation,
The power and the buzzing
For ever and ever
NO MEN

So you had a bad day!

2008-08-02T21:37:00.007+10:00

Oh My God! It's a Saturday night and once again I'm sitting here at home alone watching science fiction on the telly and surfing the net. Oh what an exciting life I lead!

A joke that Amanda Tapping said at a convention once comes to mind. She was asked if she could explain what a naked singularity was. Her answer was "Sam Carter on a Saturday night!" Now I know all the Stargate fans are laughing their guts' out right now. And if you don't get the joke well, too bad, get over it. HA HA!!! The joke kinda fits my life, except the naked part....I am clothed (thank god I hear you all cry).

And the song that is going around in my head at the moment is "Raining in Baltimore" by Counting crows.

What a Blog of Shit!

2008-07-29T19:07:00.010+10:00

Watched the new episode of Stargate Atlantis last night. Was soooo good. Slowly getting used to Woolsey being in charge. He is starting to seem more human, and not so much the hardcase boss. I'm still upset that Carter is gone tho. I know Amanda decided to leave because of Sanctuary, but geez I'm still pissed off at how they wrote her out. Like she just wasn't even needed anymore.

Went to mums on the weekend. A friend of hers was having a birthday so we went and all just sat around the fire and drank and crapped on. Why do I always get really tanked around people who I shouldn't drink around? OMG! My 86 year old grandfather was there. I was drinking home made bourbon and coke and I don't remember half the night. Yeah its ok to get pissed with mates and stuff, but around the oldies.... COME ON! What the fuck is wrong with me! Maybe I just crave being around people so much that I'm willing to embarrass myself around anyone, just to be near them. Well em barres myself I did. I talked so much crap. Spilled my drink. And ended up chucking up for half the night when we got home. It was one of those times when the room spun the second I got in bed. Still felt crook the next morning. You know how you pass out (eventually. ...after the vomiting stops) and sleep for about 4 hours then wake up and toss and turn while you still feel like you are going to make the doona technicolour.

Well I finally gave up on trying to get back to sleep at around seven in the morning and went and watched telly. I have a feeling that my mother wasn't that impressed with me. And I kind of feel crap about letting her down too. She is the most important person in the world to me and I don't want to let her down. Sometimes I feel like shes the only person on this planet who even needs me.

Anyway, had school the last two days. Yesterday was fun. We were sitting at the computers learning all about MYOB when our teacher happened to mention how the centre next door was having like a health & relaxation afternoon. So we all decided to wag. Including our teacher. Got a nice little neck & shoulder massage. Then we sat there and had a bit of Reiki. Fuck thats interesting shit. They were just doing small relaxation sessions, not the full hog. The lady that did it to me said that I have problems around my throat area. Not being able to get words out and express myself. I suppose this blog is proof of that. I mean I'm just crapping on about what I've been doing. But it kinda freaked me out too cos I have to go have tests done on my throat on Thursday cos I've felt like I've got a lump in it for the last few months. HOW BAZAAR!!!!

Sorry for crapping on so much, I kind of got carried away . Once I start, I kind of just keep going.

Number One

2008-07-25T23:35:00.001+10:00

Hi All,

Well this is my first ever blog. I've been reading a few by some very wonderfully talented bloggers and think I may have been bitten by the bug. I just hope I can do this half as good as them!

I suppose I should let you all know a bit about myself before I get crapping on. Well you can call me Abydos. I'm a woman in her mid 30s from the New South Wales / Victorian border here in Australia. I've moved around heaps in my life. About 15-16 times. I know other people have moved lots more than that, but oh well. Places I've lived include Scoresby, Warneet, Cranbourne, Launceston and Somerville. Launceston being my favourite. God I love that place. And Warneet being my loath in life. But I might write about that place some other time. You don't want to get me started on it.

I'm not working at the moment, unfortunately. Desperately searching for a job. I got my dual diploma in IT Network Systems administration and system support last year. But I realised near the end of the diploma that I don't think I'm cut out for it. I do love computers but I think networking is a tad complicated for me. At the moment I'm just doing a business admin course to keep myself busy til I can get a job.

I'm single. And happily so. I see all my friends and family going through so much crap, and I am fast coming to the conclusion that relationships suck. I have no kids and I don't want them. I have my pets. They are my babies. I don't spoil them at all (much). Dogs are my favourite people. They are so much more trustworthy and are always there. They love unconditionally. Not many people can do that.

I don't have many interests. I'm incredibly boring. Oh I should really warn you.....I AM A GEEK!!! AND PROUD OF IT!!! I love my computers and tech stuff. If I could afford it I would have all the gadgets. Can't wait til I can afford an iPhone. I am a science fiction freak. I luuuurve Stargate. The best television show ever created....in my humble opinion. SG-1 was better than Atlantis. But I do still love Atlantis. Can't wait til the next movie Stargate Continuum is released. Other shows I love include Star Trek (all series except the original - sorry), Firefly, Family Guy (God I love Stewie), the 4400, and heaps more. I am a huge Big Brother fan and am still in mouring over its cancellation. I am just hoping that seven or nine pick it up. Music wise, well sadly I have been a huge fan of the same band for over 20 years. The best band ever....A-ha! They are not the one hit wonders that most Aussies know them as. They have had so many hits in the UK and Europe, and are still recording and playing live even now. They may be starting to get a bit older, but OMG Morten Harket looks better than ever before.

Well I think I have crapped on about myself too much. I'm heading off to bed. I got a late night coming up tomorrow night and have to prepare my body for all the bourbon.

My next blog, god knows when that is, will hopefully be more interesting. I want to try and just write certain blogs just on one subject at a time. I don't know what I'm really doing here, so please forgive the newbie.

Abydos71!