New Words

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are last year's winners.

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the lot:

17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

What planet am I from? Finally answered!

Your result for What Planet are You From? Test...

You are from Mars!

20% Mars

You probably suspected you were a Martian all along.

Mars is the planet that is commonly called the “Red Planet” because it appears to be red. Okay, that was kind of obvious, I know. But it has been the one that most people on Earth think of as being the most likely planet to hold life. Recent findings might even help prove that there was actually life on Mars.

Mars is named after the Roman god of war. This guy definitely had a spunky personality. You have to have when Roman legions that go out and take over countries are worshipping you. The definitely wouldn’t be turned on to some wimp when they are there to maim and destroy.

But what does this all have to do with you?

Well, as a Martian you are probably one that is a bit rebellious in nature and like to do things your own way. You like to keep your personal things personal and don’t like people being too nosey about your business. So, what are you up to, Martian?

You probably get bored quickly and give in to impulse buying when you see something that you really like. You more than likely don’t save money because you like living life and not just existing in it. You can also be a bit stubborn and don’t really care what people think.

As far as relationships go you might be a bit hard to get to know at first, but once someone gets to know you and finds a place in your heart you are their friend for life. You don’t betray your friends.

So, Martian, I wish you luck in your attempt to overtake the world!

Take What Planet are You From? Test at HelloQuizzy

Day 9 - Home Time - 211008

It was daylight when we left! Nice change. Redda drove cos he knew I wanted to stop at the dish at Parkes. Which we did. I loved it. It was closed at the time. We were early. So we didnt go in. I wish we could have. It is 64m across. HUGE!!!


You have to turn off video cameras and phones when you go there. Mum went and got a good pic for me (the sun was in the wrong spot for me). And when she got back her hair was like it was all full of static. It was a pisser!
Drove for hours. Stopped at Forbes to get petrol and suddenly there are people waiting on us in the servo!!! YES IT IS A FULL SERVICE SERVO!!! Petrol was done for us, and they even cleaned the window!
Then laughed my guts out cos there was a place called Bogan Gate!!! For all the ones who dont know what a bogan is, its a feral, or a red neck!

Marsden, West Wylong, Alleena, GRONG GRONG, Narrandera, Gillenbah, Corobimilla, Jerilderie, Finley and TOCUMWAL!!!

How bloody dry is this place?!?

Finally got back to mums at about 1pm. Monty went spastic when he saw me. I missed him too. He was so excited. So after he finally settled down a bit I just chucked all my stuff in my car and headed home. Too tired to stop. Just wanted to get home, check on the cat and unpack.
All was fine at home. Star was good! Meowed his little face off when he saw me, and he has been close by ever since. Poor baby!
The holiday was great. I really enjoyed it. Mum has no idea how much I appreciate what she did for me. I’m so lucky to have her! My fave bit was definitly Australia Zoo. I just had the best day there and could have spent hours more there.
I want to go back there one day to see more. Now that I have had a holiday (first one in 14 years) and travelled a bit, I want to travel more. All I want to do is to just bugger off and travel and go from place to place. I just want to live!

Day 7 - Last day - 191008

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Boring! Did bugger all in the morning. I don’t understand why they have driven all the way up here only to sit at the appartment. Geez I would be out and about. Just walking somewhere and having a nosey.

At around 11 they decided to go to some factory outlet place down the road. So off we went. Got there and discovered a cool little market on the foreshore. So bugger the factory outlets, we went for a wander through there. Lots of cool stuff. Heaps of arty farty stuff. Went down to the beach and reaised we were just outside the Kurrawa Surfers Club, where we had tea on Wednesday night.

A bit of Star Trek on the Gold Coast

The beach was packed. Watched some youngens play volleyball for a while then went back for a wander.

Ended up in Broadbeach Mall. Found Maccas and had lunch. Wandered around a bit more then went back (again) to the appartment.

I just played the pc for a few hours. Then at about 5 Narelle turns up. So we sat out on the balcony and had a drink and chatted a while. She is so cool. Its been great to catch up with her. To get to know her again. I wish I could have had more time to spend with her. I think we could get along really well.

That night was boring too. Heading off early in the morning so had a very early night.

HELP!!!

Day 6 - I GOT ELEPHANT SNOT ON MY HAND - 181008

Another early morning. We went to Australia Zoo today. Steve Irwins Zoo. It was amazing. I don’t think I have had such a brilliant day for as long as I can remember.

It was about a 2 hour drive from here at Surfers. Saw the Glasshouse Mountains. Weird looking buggers they are.


Arrived half an hour early so had to wait at the gates with heaps of others. Got in and I went and hired a scooter. It was so much easier, after I got over the crashing in to things and almost running over young children (it was accidental....some of the time). It was great not having to push the damn chair up and down hills and shit. And it was easier on mum too. Saved her from having to help me about.



Saw heaps of crocs and lizards and aligators. Saw the tortoises get fed. Galioth and Igloo (I think).



Got to feed Sari(?) the elephant. It was trippy. I GOT ELEPHANT SNOT ON MY HAND!!!! She was the eldest on there, 52 years old. I just love them. So graceful.
Then we went to the Crocoseum for the Wildlife Warriors Show. Heaps of birds and snakes. Then SHAKA the croc came out and did his thing, which is basically swimming about and trying to grab the dead chicken bits. Bloody scary buggers they are. The way they can rise up in the air out of the water is amazing.


Got to pat a drop bear (Koala) and a kangaroo (eeeer Skiiiip!) Saw the echidnas (ekindas).
After that it was off to Elephantasia and watched the elephants for ages. The handlers were there and they did a talk on how they care for them. They gave one a bath and they (the elephunkles) did a few tricks like lifting logs and bowing down. They are so gorgeous. I just love them. I took so many photos of them it was unbelieveable.



Tigers were next. OMG I fell in love!!! These beauties are fantastic! Their handlers were in the enclosure playing with them. One guy was lying on the grass and had 3 tigers playing with him and snuggling in. So B E A U tiful! They were all playing together and grabbing tails and chasing one another. The only problem was the damn reflection off the glass, made taking photos a prick!



We went thru the aviary and by this time Redda was having problems walking and we had been around. I think they were just ready to go. I could have stayed there all day. It was about 2.30 I think. I took the scooter back and got back in my chair, then remembered I didn’t get the photo that they took of me when I fed the elephunkle. So mum went to find Redda outside the exit somewhere and I scadaddled off quickly back to the Crocoseum to get my pic. Bloody hundreds to search thru to find it (and of course it was up high and I had to ask for help) and then was pissed off cos there was a big PROOF written in red right across it. You have to pay to get one done and cos Mum and Redda were basically already left I didnt have time to get it done. So I just gotta scan it in when I get home and try to photoshop it a bit. I took heaps more photos there. You can see em on my facebook page http://www.facebook.com/home.php?src=fftb#/profile.php?id=1224076245&ref=name



We got home at about 5 ish I think. And cos I was so hyped I got my bathers on and jumped in the pool. It was so nice. The pool is heated here. I havent been swimming in so long. Plus I didnt have my flippers! But I still managed to get from one end to the other, even tho I couldn’t reach the bottom at the shallow end. I even managed to stay under the entire length and not come up for air. Jumped in the spa next. It was hot. And so relaxing. Couldn’t figure out how to turn it off though, then I realised it was on a timer! DER!!!

Anyway, now its only 8pm. Mum has already passed out in bed and Redda is snoring on the chair. And I am not tired. Still on a high I think. No idea what is planned for tomorrow. I don’t think anything is, just a go with the flow day. Its our last day up here so I hope we dont waste it!

Day 5 - BORING!!!! 171008

Got to kind of sleep in today. Mum and Redda took the car down for a service. Needed a wheel balance and shit. So even though I woke early I still stayed in bed for a while longer. When they got back I suggested we go to HarbourTown, where they have all the factory outlets. So off we went. Just walked around there for a while. Bought some trakky dax and a few tops. And got another stubby holder (a Gold Coast one).

That all took us a few hours, then just came home. Got lost on the way and the squabbles began again. And they wonder why I bought a new MP3 player!!!

Did nothing in the afternoon. Napped. Thats about it. It was a bit of a boring day. I think we were all a bit touchy too. Was a bit of a narky day. Probably all getting on each others nerves. So I just went down and checked my emails and facebook and stuff to get away on my own for a bit. Thats about it! Boring hey!

The only photo I took today.

Beaches, Seaworld and Rude Barsted Men - Day 4 161008

We were up and ready early so we decided to go down to the beach for a look. Such a beautiful place. OMG its gorgeous! The sand is so clean and soft. Hard to move on in a wheelchair! I just wobbled down to the beach holding onto a railing so I could say that I had stood on it (the beach, not the railing).

Got some pics and then we went off for a walk down the street. Had a nosey in a few shops but avoided most of them. I don’t think we could have even afford to look in the window of Cartier and Gucci! Got back in the car and drove off. The roads here are getting all set for the Indy Cars which arrive next week. All fencing and stuff everywhere. We heard yesterday that it takes them 6 weeks to get it all ready and 6 weeks to take it all down!

Then off to Seaworld we went. Got there about 10. It was busy already. We slowly wandered down to the dolphin show which was on at 1045. Saw some little dolphins in the nursary on the way. We got there just in time. It was packed. But thankfully me being me, we got ushered in a different way and given a reserved seat right at the front. Oh being disabled has its advantages! Anyway, the dolphin show was fantastic.

They are so beautiful and smart and I was just amazed at the connection the handlers have with them. The dolphins were literally hugging them. So touching.Tear! Took plenty of video and pictures.

We went on the monorail around the park. Once again, we got a specially reserved car for us. Told mum I felt like I was a dog the way I was racing from one side to the other to get photos. LOL! She gave me a strange look. Redda just wanted to go to sleep on the chairs. We did offer to leave him there to travel round and round while we went and checked the place out, but he decilined.

What do starfish and men have in common? NO BRAIN!!!! HAHAHA

The polar bear was amazing. He wasnt there when we first went to see him, and by the time we walked all the way down the ramp he was out, so off up the ramp we went. Poor mum! But then I suppose its good Im not heavy. But the polar bear..... I think he came out just to show off. He sat on the rock in the middle, doing what I am sure was posing!

Then chased a seagul and landed in the water. Swum about a bit and played with his toys and dove down. Was so cute. The rudest of rude men was there. There was a small gap and I just asked him politely if I could just squash in and he turned around with a “fucking unbelievable” and stormed off! Mum yelled back at him that he was the unbelievable one! So that all upset me a bit. HOW VERY RUDE!!!!

We just walked around for a few more hours. Loved the underwater viewing of the sharks and stuff. The sting rays were great. I could have stayed there for hours just watching them.

There was this one fish (which was only a toadie) who kept coming up to the window and just staring at us, showing his teeth. He cracked me up.

Ran into a guy from Warneet we used to know. Mum actually bought her old house off him. Small world huh. Got himself a mail order bride by the look of it! Sleaze. We were going to go to the 4D show but were too late, same with the seal show. And I really wanted to get my photo taken with a sea lion but mum didnt want to hang around that long. So we left at about 2pm.

Came home and just rested then. Had a nice nap. And just sat around the rest of the night.