FOR ALL THOSE WHO HAVE NOT GOT CHILDREN TAKE NOTE
FOLLOW THESE 14 SIMPLE TESTS BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN.
Test 1 - Preparation
Women: To prepare for pregnancy:-
1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.
Men: To prepare for children:-
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.
Test 2 - Knowledge
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which
they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
Test 3 - Nights
To discover how the nights will feel:
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.
Test 4 - Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.
Test 5 - Cars
1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Test 6 - Going For a Walk
Wait
Go out the front door
Come back in again
Go out
Come back in again
Go out again
Walk down the front path
Walk back up it
Walk down it again
Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
Retrace your steps
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
Test 7
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.
Test 8 - Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Test 9 - Feeding a 1 year-old
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.
Test 10 - TV
1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.
Test 11 - Mess
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor & leave it there.
Test 12 - Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Test 13 - Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
Test 14 - Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work
You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
A letter to R.....
Hey all.
Not a very cheery post tonight cos I'm not exactly feeling like partying.
I just wanted to say a few words to a certain friend who I have recently found out is unwell. Even though I know she probably won't see it cos she probably doesn't read blogs.
Dear R
I know that I don't see you often. I wish I did. But I have always felt that we have a huge connection. One I can't explain. Ever since that new years eve at J's place, sitting out on the grass just talking. Ever since that night you have been my hero, and such a huge inspiration to me.
After all that you had been through up til that night, and you sat there laughing and having a ball. We talked and talked. You amazed me. Sitting there with your scarf on your head, you told me all about what you were going through. Yet you were so positive. You put me to shame thats for sure.
You got well, you fought it, and won. OMG how amazing! Beating that while raising your beautiful son. How bloody strong are you!!!!! Such strength.
Now, theres another fight ahead of you. One I wish that you didn't have to deal with. You don't deserve it. You are too good a person.
The sadness I feel, and the confusion as to why this is happening to you is just enormous. And I wish so much that there was something I could do to make it better.
And with everything that is in front of you, I just know that you will approach it with your "Stuff that shit...its not stopping me!!" attitude and still live. You will fight! I know you will.
I could never say how I feel to you, I'm too shy. But please know. You ARE my hero. You have been since the day I met you. You inspire me to be a better, stronger and more positive person. And you have held a special place in my heart since that first meeting, and I know that you always will.
Fight mate, the way I know you can.
Love you heaps R.
K
Not a very cheery post tonight cos I'm not exactly feeling like partying.
I just wanted to say a few words to a certain friend who I have recently found out is unwell. Even though I know she probably won't see it cos she probably doesn't read blogs.
Dear R
I know that I don't see you often. I wish I did. But I have always felt that we have a huge connection. One I can't explain. Ever since that new years eve at J's place, sitting out on the grass just talking. Ever since that night you have been my hero, and such a huge inspiration to me.
After all that you had been through up til that night, and you sat there laughing and having a ball. We talked and talked. You amazed me. Sitting there with your scarf on your head, you told me all about what you were going through. Yet you were so positive. You put me to shame thats for sure.
You got well, you fought it, and won. OMG how amazing! Beating that while raising your beautiful son. How bloody strong are you!!!!! Such strength.
Now, theres another fight ahead of you. One I wish that you didn't have to deal with. You don't deserve it. You are too good a person.
The sadness I feel, and the confusion as to why this is happening to you is just enormous. And I wish so much that there was something I could do to make it better.
And with everything that is in front of you, I just know that you will approach it with your "Stuff that shit...its not stopping me!!" attitude and still live. You will fight! I know you will.
I could never say how I feel to you, I'm too shy. But please know. You ARE my hero. You have been since the day I met you. You inspire me to be a better, stronger and more positive person. And you have held a special place in my heart since that first meeting, and I know that you always will.
Fight mate, the way I know you can.
Love you heaps R.
K
Saturday, August 9, 2008
The Opening Ceremony
Been sitting here watching the opening ceremony for the Olympics. Would you like to join me?
It has been pretty good. I have to say I was impressed. It was very much based on Chinese mythology, which you would expect. And I get so wrapped up in mythology!!! Maybe I should study it and become an archaeologist. Anyway, they didn't go for the high tech kind of thing, which is good. I think all that is is like "Look what I have!!! I'm better than you". Not to say that I don't enjoy the high tech, cos anyone who knows me knows I luuuurve my gadgets. But for the Opening ceremony of the Olympics, I think it should be based on the history and culture of the country that is hosting. Not on how they can outdo anyone else.
The teams are all walking out now. Australia haven't come out yet. I'm waiting to see what they are dressed in. Some years it has been very OMG!!! So I'm hoping the poor buggers haven't been dressed to embarrass this time. Remember the absolutely charming shirts they had to wear in the (I think) 1984 LA Olympics. I suppose back then they were the in thing, but they didn't really age well did they?
Here comes South Korea. Its interesting to see the different types of people and they way they act when they come in. South Korea were very stoic. Hardly smiled, just walking and waving. And here comes Cameroon, smiling their little bronzed guts' out! They seem like such happy campers. I bet they like to party and shake dat thang!
OMG they are playing bagpipes in the background. THAT SHOULD BE BANNED. It has to be the worst instrument (if you can call it that) that has ever been created. I'm sorry to all the Scotts, you are great, but the bagpipes SUCK. Don't worry, so should the didgeridoo.
Here comes Sweden. Vere is your jacuzzi? Ooonta arben eeben iben doona cover! And now Singapore, oh they look like flight attendants. Can I get you a pillow, one that smells of farts. Hehe.
Imagine the after party to this.... All the athletes who are sooo hyped up and want to party, but can't touch any grog! What a conundrum! I bet after the games they go home and party hard! I know I would! HA HA! Get smashed.
And now some country has come out that are wearing hats that look like the ones you get out of the crappy bon-bons at Christmas.
One thing I don't understand about the Olympics. All these countries come together for 2 weeks, and it is all in peace. IF WE CAN DO IT FOR 2 WEEKS (FOR A FRIKKIN SPORT EVENT) THEN WHY CAN'T WE DO IT ALL THE FREAKING TIME? But anyway, that might be a debate for another time. I don't want to start that crap this time of night.
Still waiting on Australia to come out. Its very colorful there. It would be an amazing atmosphere. I get so wrapped up in the games, so please excuse if a few of these blogs go on about them a bit in the next few weeks. And I'm not a sports person. Go figure.
AND HERE WE ARE!!! Hear that crowd! Oh...interesting um..... track suits they are wearing. Nice blue and white, but IMO they don't look that impressive. They look like they have been bought at Kmart. I'm sorry but I was expecting something better than that. Hmmmm. But anyway.... Look at them....they know how to have fun. Jumping and laughing. Aussies know how to enjoy things. Hehe. They look so happy. Good on em!
Here is China. OMG listen to the crowd!!! They look nice and bright. Red and yellow. Maccas colours! Yes I would like a cheeseburger and fries thanks. Their team is huge. Being the home team thats why, obviously, derrr!
You can see the smog there in the stadium. Actually when I was watching the very start, where the guys where drumming on the lights, I was wondering what would happen if they all were epileptic!!! It would have set anyone in the crowd off. I mean geez it was bright and flashy, just what any epileptic wants....not! OOOOO Fireworks. Thats pretty!
Now the official crap. Snore! Can't understand him. Should learn Chinese shouldn't I? Oh old Brucey Macavany (or however its spelled) is talking now. Nifty would love this! SPECIAL MOMENT THAT! Ha ha! Oh how she hates him. Can't imagine why! Back to the speeches, in English now. Whoops, now in French. Is he going to go thru all 200 odd languages of the countries there? Nah....now they are gonna open the games. YAY! I guess he said that the games are on. OOOOO more fireworks.
Here comes the Olympic flag. Laugh if they dropped it. JOKING! They are all wearing white...careful you don't shart! Time for a song...lets sing the Olympic anthem. Um LA LA LA.....LA LA LA.....LA LA LA....oh stuff that! I think I will leave it up to the professionals. Now I'm falling asleep. Sounds like something the god botherers would sing. Oh thank god thats over.... Oath time. And now some music. Oh thats pretty. (he he ... pretty.... laughs CB). Lets all make little wavey motions with our hands. Tra la la. And moooore fireworks... ooo that was a loud one.
It should be the flame now. Wonder how they are gonna light it. Yep here it is. Run Forest Run! I got my flame Lieutenant Dan! Gonna take it on my boat. He he! Sorry.... Listen to the music... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ! LOL! I apologise, I am soooo tired. It's nearly 2am. The flame has almost done the rounds. Here we go.......or should I say up we go..... wow, thats cool. Shit look how high he is. This is excellent. So well done! He is pseudo running now. (Hes faking it...hes a faker! - laugh all you family guy fans, you know its off it). He is still going. Getting close to the big thingy how. OOO its big and red. And now its hot...... its alight! OH AH LA VA VOOMP! Did that go up. Bloody brilliant if I do say so myself. And now more fireworks, which shall definitely help the smog situation.
And this concludes the opening ceremony of blah blah blah blah.
That was quiet good. I enjoyed that. I wouldn't want to be driving home from there now tho. Imagine the traffic.
Well now thats over I'm heading off to sleepy bo bos.
The song in my head tonight is "The living daylights" by A-ha.
It has been pretty good. I have to say I was impressed. It was very much based on Chinese mythology, which you would expect. And I get so wrapped up in mythology!!! Maybe I should study it and become an archaeologist. Anyway, they didn't go for the high tech kind of thing, which is good. I think all that is is like "Look what I have!!! I'm better than you". Not to say that I don't enjoy the high tech, cos anyone who knows me knows I luuuurve my gadgets. But for the Opening ceremony of the Olympics, I think it should be based on the history and culture of the country that is hosting. Not on how they can outdo anyone else.
The teams are all walking out now. Australia haven't come out yet. I'm waiting to see what they are dressed in. Some years it has been very OMG!!! So I'm hoping the poor buggers haven't been dressed to embarrass this time. Remember the absolutely charming shirts they had to wear in the (I think) 1984 LA Olympics. I suppose back then they were the in thing, but they didn't really age well did they?
Here comes South Korea. Its interesting to see the different types of people and they way they act when they come in. South Korea were very stoic. Hardly smiled, just walking and waving. And here comes Cameroon, smiling their little bronzed guts' out! They seem like such happy campers. I bet they like to party and shake dat thang!
OMG they are playing bagpipes in the background. THAT SHOULD BE BANNED. It has to be the worst instrument (if you can call it that) that has ever been created. I'm sorry to all the Scotts, you are great, but the bagpipes SUCK. Don't worry, so should the didgeridoo.
Here comes Sweden. Vere is your jacuzzi? Ooonta arben eeben iben doona cover! And now Singapore, oh they look like flight attendants. Can I get you a pillow, one that smells of farts. Hehe.
Imagine the after party to this.... All the athletes who are sooo hyped up and want to party, but can't touch any grog! What a conundrum! I bet after the games they go home and party hard! I know I would! HA HA! Get smashed.
And now some country has come out that are wearing hats that look like the ones you get out of the crappy bon-bons at Christmas.
One thing I don't understand about the Olympics. All these countries come together for 2 weeks, and it is all in peace. IF WE CAN DO IT FOR 2 WEEKS (FOR A FRIKKIN SPORT EVENT) THEN WHY CAN'T WE DO IT ALL THE FREAKING TIME? But anyway, that might be a debate for another time. I don't want to start that crap this time of night.
Still waiting on Australia to come out. Its very colorful there. It would be an amazing atmosphere. I get so wrapped up in the games, so please excuse if a few of these blogs go on about them a bit in the next few weeks. And I'm not a sports person. Go figure.
AND HERE WE ARE!!! Hear that crowd! Oh...interesting um..... track suits they are wearing. Nice blue and white, but IMO they don't look that impressive. They look like they have been bought at Kmart. I'm sorry but I was expecting something better than that. Hmmmm. But anyway.... Look at them....they know how to have fun. Jumping and laughing. Aussies know how to enjoy things. Hehe. They look so happy. Good on em!
Here is China. OMG listen to the crowd!!! They look nice and bright. Red and yellow. Maccas colours! Yes I would like a cheeseburger and fries thanks. Their team is huge. Being the home team thats why, obviously, derrr!
You can see the smog there in the stadium. Actually when I was watching the very start, where the guys where drumming on the lights, I was wondering what would happen if they all were epileptic!!! It would have set anyone in the crowd off. I mean geez it was bright and flashy, just what any epileptic wants....not! OOOOO Fireworks. Thats pretty!
Now the official crap. Snore! Can't understand him. Should learn Chinese shouldn't I? Oh old Brucey Macavany (or however its spelled) is talking now. Nifty would love this! SPECIAL MOMENT THAT! Ha ha! Oh how she hates him. Can't imagine why! Back to the speeches, in English now. Whoops, now in French. Is he going to go thru all 200 odd languages of the countries there? Nah....now they are gonna open the games. YAY! I guess he said that the games are on. OOOOO more fireworks.
Here comes the Olympic flag. Laugh if they dropped it. JOKING! They are all wearing white...careful you don't shart! Time for a song...lets sing the Olympic anthem. Um LA LA LA.....LA LA LA.....LA LA LA....oh stuff that! I think I will leave it up to the professionals. Now I'm falling asleep. Sounds like something the god botherers would sing. Oh thank god thats over.... Oath time. And now some music. Oh thats pretty. (he he ... pretty.... laughs CB). Lets all make little wavey motions with our hands. Tra la la. And moooore fireworks... ooo that was a loud one.
It should be the flame now. Wonder how they are gonna light it. Yep here it is. Run Forest Run! I got my flame Lieutenant Dan! Gonna take it on my boat. He he! Sorry.... Listen to the music... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ! LOL! I apologise, I am soooo tired. It's nearly 2am. The flame has almost done the rounds. Here we go.......or should I say up we go..... wow, thats cool. Shit look how high he is. This is excellent. So well done! He is pseudo running now. (Hes faking it...hes a faker! - laugh all you family guy fans, you know its off it). He is still going. Getting close to the big thingy how. OOO its big and red. And now its hot...... its alight! OH AH LA VA VOOMP! Did that go up. Bloody brilliant if I do say so myself. And now more fireworks, which shall definitely help the smog situation.
And this concludes the opening ceremony of blah blah blah blah.
That was quiet good. I enjoyed that. I wouldn't want to be driving home from there now tho. Imagine the traffic.
Well now thats over I'm heading off to sleepy bo bos.
The song in my head tonight is "The living daylights" by A-ha.
Friday, August 8, 2008
I don't know....I just ..... I don't know!
I want to write a blog. The thing is that I have been sitting here for hours thinking about what to write about, but my life is so dull that I have nothing. Damn!
School was ok this week. Did some work on payroll then went and did a bit more on MYOB. Then worked some more on OH & S on Tuesday. Got a HUUUUUGE assignment to do for that. Gonna keep us busy for ages. But then it has to be handed in on the 17th, or was it the 19th. Oh well. HAHA!
The weird thing is that I have been taking these painkillers for my back, and they kind of send me a bit wakko! Well its so funny. I get to school and I can't shut up. I sit there laughing and making jokes and just basically having fun all day. I think I pissed J off a bit on Tuesday tho. I was in top form. OMG I WAS BAD! Smiley was so tired and I think I was the only thing keeping the poor girl awake. Probably was driving her batty too. HEHE! But she is cool. She makes me laugh. We have very similar senses of humour so it goes well.
Then Wednesday, what did I do? Oh yeah, went to Cob and did the shopping. WOO HOO I hear you cry! I know the excitement of it. I did drop in and saw Smiley at her place of work and bought a snake for the door (no more breezes - but it also means the farts can't escape). We had a good gas bag, and she showed me a lovely statue of an Indian. At first I was standing next to it, pretending to be hugged by it. Then Smiley shows me what was under its loin cloth! OMG THE THING WAS ANATOMICALLY CORRECT!!! I nearly died! I also pissed myself laughing. Holy shit! She was saying how kids come in and look, so she had to put a pair of undies on it....ROFL!!!!!! I did of course put the snake I bought under his loin cloth, just for a sec cos some oldies walked in.
I have been watching a shitload of Star Trek lately. I haven't really watched any for a few years, now that Stargate has taken over as the best show ever to be created!!! I have watched all of Next Gen, most of DS9 and now Voyager. I mean I have seen them before, but as I said, not for a long time. And as much as I still do love the shows, especially Voyager, they just don't come close to SG-1. I don't know what it is about that show that really gets me in. People think of science fiction shows and think "All space ships and robots" but its not just that. Far from it. People don't realise that the shows are so character based and deal with so many deep subjects that they are more meaningful than most of the normal drama shows that are on. The only difference is that the subjects are disguised in a different format. And the characters are so well thought out. Especially the characters in Stargate. They are normal fallible people who do make mistakes. They are not the superhero types that people think they are. They aren't perfect. And I think that's one reason we love them. They are human! My favorite character is Col. Samantha Carter. She is my hero. She is such a strong woman, and so smart. She can kick arse. Handle any weapon. Yet she still holds on to her femininity. The actress who plays her, Amanda Tapping, is also brilliant. I have seen interviews and read articles about her, plus read all the blogs and forums online about people who have met her, and every one of them goes on about how much of a wonderful and kind person she is. She has done a heap of DVD commentaries on SG1 and in them she seems so down to earth and OMG has that girl got a frikkin brilliant sense of humor. She has even got her own comedy troupe. She is definitely my hero. Both Sam and Amanda. It really is my dream to meet her one day.
Mum dropped in today. Finally got the ring back from Canada. For those who don't know, mum bought it for me when she went on her holiday over there, and it was too big for me. I went to get it resized here but they were too concerned that it would have to be made so small that the stones would pop out. So as it was under warranty mum sent it back to Canadia (yes I know I spelled it rong...but I wanted too) to be done. That was back in May. And today mum turns up with it. Its sooooo b.e.a.utiful. I love it so much. My mummy is the best!!!!
I had my house inspection this morning. Had to do the usual and run around tidying up and making the place look presentable just so the agent has nothing to pick on. She turns up (on time - shock!!!) and comes in. And lovely little Monty does nothing but bark his little frikkin head off. NOICE!!!! They know I have him here. But I was just so stressed that they would say something like "OOO Noisy dog. Get rid of him". So after a few minutes the little barsted finally shut up, then the cat decides to almost get skittled out the front. Oh what a dream it is to get stressed around your estate agent!! Anyway, she was happy with everything, so it doesn't look as tho I'm going to get evicted.
Anyway, nothing else is happening. So I am going to bed. It's late and I am tired.
And oh yeah, the tests on my throat came back normal. So going to see a specialist now to get some more indepth stuff done. Maybe I'm just imagining it all!!!!
And the song in my head is "One foot in front of the other" by Bone Symphony!
School was ok this week. Did some work on payroll then went and did a bit more on MYOB. Then worked some more on OH & S on Tuesday. Got a HUUUUUGE assignment to do for that. Gonna keep us busy for ages. But then it has to be handed in on the 17th, or was it the 19th. Oh well. HAHA!
The weird thing is that I have been taking these painkillers for my back, and they kind of send me a bit wakko! Well its so funny. I get to school and I can't shut up. I sit there laughing and making jokes and just basically having fun all day. I think I pissed J off a bit on Tuesday tho. I was in top form. OMG I WAS BAD! Smiley was so tired and I think I was the only thing keeping the poor girl awake. Probably was driving her batty too. HEHE! But she is cool. She makes me laugh. We have very similar senses of humour so it goes well.
Then Wednesday, what did I do? Oh yeah, went to Cob and did the shopping. WOO HOO I hear you cry! I know the excitement of it. I did drop in and saw Smiley at her place of work and bought a snake for the door (no more breezes - but it also means the farts can't escape). We had a good gas bag, and she showed me a lovely statue of an Indian. At first I was standing next to it, pretending to be hugged by it. Then Smiley shows me what was under its loin cloth! OMG THE THING WAS ANATOMICALLY CORRECT!!! I nearly died! I also pissed myself laughing. Holy shit! She was saying how kids come in and look, so she had to put a pair of undies on it....ROFL!!!!!! I did of course put the snake I bought under his loin cloth, just for a sec cos some oldies walked in.
I have been watching a shitload of Star Trek lately. I haven't really watched any for a few years, now that Stargate has taken over as the best show ever to be created!!! I have watched all of Next Gen, most of DS9 and now Voyager. I mean I have seen them before, but as I said, not for a long time. And as much as I still do love the shows, especially Voyager, they just don't come close to SG-1. I don't know what it is about that show that really gets me in. People think of science fiction shows and think "All space ships and robots" but its not just that. Far from it. People don't realise that the shows are so character based and deal with so many deep subjects that they are more meaningful than most of the normal drama shows that are on. The only difference is that the subjects are disguised in a different format. And the characters are so well thought out. Especially the characters in Stargate. They are normal fallible people who do make mistakes. They are not the superhero types that people think they are. They aren't perfect. And I think that's one reason we love them. They are human! My favorite character is Col. Samantha Carter. She is my hero. She is such a strong woman, and so smart. She can kick arse. Handle any weapon. Yet she still holds on to her femininity. The actress who plays her, Amanda Tapping, is also brilliant. I have seen interviews and read articles about her, plus read all the blogs and forums online about people who have met her, and every one of them goes on about how much of a wonderful and kind person she is. She has done a heap of DVD commentaries on SG1 and in them she seems so down to earth and OMG has that girl got a frikkin brilliant sense of humor. She has even got her own comedy troupe. She is definitely my hero. Both Sam and Amanda. It really is my dream to meet her one day.
Mum dropped in today. Finally got the ring back from Canada. For those who don't know, mum bought it for me when she went on her holiday over there, and it was too big for me. I went to get it resized here but they were too concerned that it would have to be made so small that the stones would pop out. So as it was under warranty mum sent it back to Canadia (yes I know I spelled it rong...but I wanted too) to be done. That was back in May. And today mum turns up with it. Its sooooo b.e.a.utiful. I love it so much. My mummy is the best!!!!
I had my house inspection this morning. Had to do the usual and run around tidying up and making the place look presentable just so the agent has nothing to pick on. She turns up (on time - shock!!!) and comes in. And lovely little Monty does nothing but bark his little frikkin head off. NOICE!!!! They know I have him here. But I was just so stressed that they would say something like "OOO Noisy dog. Get rid of him". So after a few minutes the little barsted finally shut up, then the cat decides to almost get skittled out the front. Oh what a dream it is to get stressed around your estate agent!! Anyway, she was happy with everything, so it doesn't look as tho I'm going to get evicted.
Anyway, nothing else is happening. So I am going to bed. It's late and I am tired.
And oh yeah, the tests on my throat came back normal. So going to see a specialist now to get some more indepth stuff done. Maybe I'm just imagining it all!!!!
And the song in my head is "One foot in front of the other" by Bone Symphony!
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Something just for Fubbs
The New Lords Prayer
My vibrator, which brings me heaven
Rabbit be thy name, thy makest me cum
On earth with eyes on heaven
Give me this day my daily thrill
And forgive me my screams
As I forgive flat batteries
Lead me not into temptation
But deliver me from frustration
For thine is the rotation,
The power and the buzzing
For ever and ever
NO MEN
Saturday, August 2, 2008
So you had a bad day!
Oh My God! It's a Saturday night and once again I'm sitting here at home alone watching science fiction on the telly and surfing the net. Oh what an exciting life I lead!
A joke that Amanda Tapping said at a convention once comes to mind. She was asked if she could explain what a naked singularity was. Her answer was "Sam Carter on a Saturday night!" Now I know all the Stargate fans are laughing their guts' out right now. And if you don't get the joke well, too bad, get over it. HA HA!!! The joke kinda fits my life, except the naked part....I am clothed (thank god I hear you all cry).
And the song that is going around in my head at the moment is "Raining in Baltimore" by Counting crows.
A joke that Amanda Tapping said at a convention once comes to mind. She was asked if she could explain what a naked singularity was. Her answer was "Sam Carter on a Saturday night!" Now I know all the Stargate fans are laughing their guts' out right now. And if you don't get the joke well, too bad, get over it. HA HA!!! The joke kinda fits my life, except the naked part....I am clothed (thank god I hear you all cry).
And the song that is going around in my head at the moment is "Raining in Baltimore" by Counting crows.
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